What it feels like to go from cubicle rat to being your own boss

Yes, we all know that being your own boss is great. I’ve read so many blog posts and articles about working for yourself and all the perks: flexi-time, you answer to no one, and you make all the decisions. Cool, your self-esteem is rockin’ and you’ll never go back to slaving for someone else.

But how about the process of switching your mindset from being a life-long employee to boss lady? What’s that like? Is it easy?

I’ll like to come out and say that it wasn’t a situation that fit me like a glove from the get go. I had to work to feel good about it; to feel that it is my natural state of being.

+ It felt quite scary in the beginning and it still is sometimes. I always liked having a fixed salary so I could plan my finances. My e-biz is doing well for such a fledgling but I still don’t pay myself a salary, which means I live by the seat of my pants most days. The upside is you realize what is truly important to you on a day-to-day basis and that a person doesn’t need all that much

+ “I have my own company” means very different things to those who haven’t got one. I would say most people are impressed when I tell them I have my own business and they immediately assume I must be rolling in it or be very smart. I’m not either — finances are tight till I have fully expanded Beauty Box into the US; and I’m just an ordinary gal who had to earn some cash asap when I was left unemployed in a foreign country. But it feels good when people are in awe and I don’t apologize for it at all.

+ I didn’t let myself enjoy the so-called flexi-hours I had though I became the mistress of my time. In order to feel I was super efficient, I forced myself to be in front of the computer for 8 – 9 hours a day at least. It even felt good to go beyond those hours because I was working on my “baby” and I realized I needed the feeling of productivity to be optimistic. The weird thing was when I felt a short lapse occasionally and twiddled my thumbs a bit, I felt guilty for not drumming up enough things for myself to do.

Now, I work less but when I do, I am very focused. Though I’m haven’t reached a 4-hour work-week, I fully appreciate that I have time to exercise, learn Japanese, run errands during office hours or chat with a friend at mid-day. The best bit is when I can give myself a “personal day” when I just don’t feel like I’m firing away. I read blogs, take walks, hoop, or watch TV if I feel unproductive. It’s kind of like writer’s block: walk away when you can’t and come back when you can.

Having said that, I still operate on a pretty fixed routine because you just can’t accomplish anything if you don’t set aside time to get work done.

+ I’m not a natural-born leader but I’ve learnt to make decisions quickly and firmly. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I need to execute what feels risky. “What if it fails?” is a whisper I hear sometimes but I squash these thoughts and bide my time patiently. I have the kangaroo for support as my partner so being the sole decison-maker is not something thrown completely on my shoulders.

+ The solitude of working from home bothered me as I liked being part of a team. Then on hindsight, I was never close to anyone in the workplace because I was in journalism. Journalists are solo agents who fight for their bylines and I always felt you could trust no one. So the idea of having colleagues evaporated from my consciousness. You may not need colleagues but you still need people.

I honestly felt a bit depressed working in a space that was both my sanctuary and my office 24/7 without talking to anyone for long stretches of time. Imagine not speaking to a human being in person for 7 days straight — you would feel out of sorts and your social manners may get a bit rusty.

It has taken me a while to strive for a balance between work and play as finances are always my top priority. Though I’m still not as socially active as I’ll like to be, I’m getting there slowly but at the same time I’m definitely liking my own company much more these days.

So what I’ve learned from this transition of worker bee to queen bee is that anybody can be their own boss and you should never feel you are not good enough to create your own gig.

You don’t always need a lot of money to kick things off nor a whole lot of expertise in any field. I think the most important things to have before you take the plunge are: a great idea and a lot of balls to do it. Don’t think too much, just roll up your sleeves, and do it.

Photo credits: here, here, & here.

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