Ugly?
12 Dec
I got thinking about the Singaporean identity the other day and would like to jot this down.
A friend in New York said, “I feel so happy when I meet someone who can use ‘lah’ properly.” And so we carried on our conversation on MSN punctuated with ‘lor’ and ‘hiyah’. I must admit it felt comforting to me.
I’ll bring up my bah kut the friend again. She doesn’t come across auntie in any way but she needs her Singapore-style nosh at least once a week. It was only after a year that she was inflicted with this enormous desire to get her mitts on Singapore food. From flying in half a suitcase annually to asking friends to tompang (carry for her) on their way to Tokyo, there’s truly a way if there’s a will.
This is “normal”, okay. I recently met a Singaporean lady who bought SGD100 worth of Prima laksa boxes. That’s 25 boxes or 4 bowls a month — woohoo. She enjoys Prima very much but if she had only one choice it would be their laksa. There’s really nothing quite like laksa. For example, hokkien mee and char kway teow are permutations of fried noodles all over the world but with different stock and ingredients of course, so laksa’s curry (but it’s not curry!) gravy is just something you don’t come close to in Japan.
To acquit herself of ugly Singaporeaness, she claimed a friend’s mother-in-law tried to smuggle in 12 Shanghainese chickens to bou tong (make soup). Ordinary chickens will not do. She got nabbed at customs with her leaky defrosting suitcase. Now that’s pure madness.
And then there’s the rudeness. Is it a national trait or is there just a mix of personalities in every country but we always focus on the bad? I tried to strike up a conversation with a Singaporean friend in school but he held his hand up and continued whispering in Japanese to himself. Well, you could at least take three seconds to tell me you’re busy studying, I snapped inwardly. As I slunk away, I was thinking, “Are we WORSE abroad?”
Nobody really knows what Singapore is like unless they’ve lived there for a bit. Do we think nobody knows where the fuck I come from so I can behave any way I please? Do we take refuge in feeling liberated from societal decencies? Perhaps. But I think it applies to everyone who has relocated from one country to another. You can shed the old skin for a new one.
A new friend, C., said she tried to go for a National Day or Chinese New Year dinner in her first year here. With another Singaporean buddy, they took a five-minute peek and rushed off to the next izakaya to soothe their horror with many birus. Okay, I’m exaggerating. But you know what she said when I asked why didn’t they give it a chance? “They seemed really loud and embarrassing.”
Or how about stubborn complacency? I can’t understand how another Singaporean I know here who doesn’t do anything but study Japanese. She doesn’t know a single person outside of the school. So homesick she’s become that she may cut short her original two-year plan to just one year. She also told me she hates Singaporeans so she doesn’t want to go back. She is a very clever girl but there’s a certain obtuseness in her thinking that used to get me very frustrated with some people at home.
The Japanese Austrian girl I met last Friday said: “I only realised my identity is European and not Japanese when I came to Tokyo.” We went on to discuss how you actually feel more tied to your national identity when you’re away from your home country. Perhaps that’s why I feel a bit lost? I don’t know. I haven’t dwelled much on building my new home with touches of my first home.
Since I came here, I haven’t been keeping up with news and trends from home nor have I tried to look for Singapore-style food. I’ve been told there are two Hainanese chicken rice restaurants in Tokyo. Owned by a French chef who worked in Raffles Hotel for 10 years, this small “chain” is taking Tokyo by storm. You can’t get a table unless you book more than a week in advance — for a weekday night. Even this had to be foisted on me to check out.
I don’t really have a conclusion, except leave the bad and bring the good with you. But what I’m more curious about fellow Singaporeans abroad is:
What do you do to make your home more like “Singapore”?
No related posts.
I’ve tried making chicken rice from a recipe I found off the net and everyone loved it. I have also tried chilli crab, curry, tao you bak and claypot chicken rice.
I have also found myself speaking more singlish than ever before. Even with Marty. =)
But i realised it helped most in the initial stages to keep in contact with close friends back home by calling back as often as I liked. I guess it helped that calling cards here were cheap. I tried alienating myself from people back home and when I started talking to them again, I realised it made a whole lot of difference.
I was amazed at how much better I felt.
Don’t alienate yourself too much
wow you’re quite the chef.
) good advice, eh…in fact, i’m going to look for Prima boxes in oz when i’m there next week. thought i saw them in a supermarket there….
so far i’ve cooked sze chuan tofu with minced pork and thai curries. i recently discovered a “Malaysian Seafood Curry Mix” at a foreign food store, YaMaYa, here and i can’t wait to try a fish curry. It’s actually quite hard to find ingredients here for Asian food except for Korean and Western cuisine.
i thought i was not cutting off the apron strings by keeping in constant contact with my friends but it really does help. it’s funny how i’ll speak more singlish with my friends back home now. it’s like i don’t get to do this at all so i must milk it!
Or perhaps, leave the bad, and bring the food with you?
Haha – good one. Goodness this was a rant written long ago when I was finding my feet in Tokyo. I was frustrated with the people I met and I laugh at it now. But I still stand by the observation that some folks leave all common courtesy in their home country when they move to another.