The foggies

Something’s been bugging me at the back of my mind – my folks. When I left, I made a promise to myself I’d email them once a week at least, plus calling. But it hasn’t been easy.

Nobody replies to my emails. I include my sisters in the loop and I thought they would mumble a line or two in return.

I called my mum two Sundays ago.

Me: Helloooo. How are you?
Mummy: Why are you calling? What do you want? (I kid you not)
Me: Just calling to see how you are.
Mummy: Oh.
Me: So how are the dogs?
Mummy: The same lor. Taffy’s eye is permanently blind now (my poor pug suffered a severe ulcer in her left eye two months ago)
Me: Did you go to Greg’s granny’s funeral? (my brother-in-law’s grandmother passed away when I visited them)
Mummy: No, what for?

And this went on for another two minutes. She nagged me to take my vitamins so I won’t fall sick in winter.

Me: Is Daddy there? Can I speak to him?
Mummy: Okay, bye bye.

Dooooooooooooo… I only heard the dial tone and not my dad’s voice.

I know my folks are just being themselves and not ignoring me but it’s very discouraging for me to contact them in this one-sided way. All my life I’ve wondered why my parents are not only typically Asian folks but why can’t they defrost a little? As a teenager I used to read these books on American kids and their families in various fictional series where adults gave their offspring hugs when they felt sad, kind words of encouragement when the going gets rough, open affection was displayed like how the movies showed and people talked about their feelings. I was envious that I didn’t have that kind of family.

Of course, as I grew up, these expectations are just impossible and unrealistic. I realise that whether I am there in the same country or not, I don’t really know my family all that well. I judge them on their behaviour and interpret their actions from my perspective, but do I get them at all?

I will continue to fling my polite and censored versions of my experiences in Japan through cyberspace but I need to muster some strength to make another phone call.

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