More jitters
The kangaroo told me he may have to move countries in three months’ time. In some ways I’m rejoicing it, but again, it makes me crave for certainty and stability.
Life is hard in Japan because of our circumstances. I feel restricted and perhaps I’m feeling this way because I just had a “I’m sick of Japan” day. I told him I wasn’t keen on sushi for dinner and would rather have Indian. In fact, I feel like dragging him to the Singaporean restaurant in Roppongi to have familiar flavours in my mouth.
I dislike myself in these moments, too, when I’m supposed to be adventurous and excited about the new and unpredictable. Maybe it’s because the thought of starting over is a challenge I’d like to put off for a while, but yet, living in different environments is my dream come true.
There are days where I am filled with wonder, but today, I keep thinking about why I’m so different from everyone else. I suppose leaving behind less than desirable friendships back home makes me want to search for more satisfying relationships elsewhere. But what I found is, I am still a whole lot more different than anyone whom I’ve met here — and I’m not just talking about the locals but the expats, too. Is my search for a new place really a fumble for people and things that are similar to me at the end of the day?
That’s incredibly short-sighted and ignorant of me. It’s part and parcel of relocation — differences in everything. I’ll probably feel great about Tokyo tomorrow and refuse to leave. Ha.
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March 6th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
hey ym, its never easy to settle in a new place, but I’ve always loved it. you never know who you will meet or what will happen. Take heart, at the very least you have your kangaroo!And I do believe, you will miss Tokyo after you leave. Almost everyone I know does.
)
March 6th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
aw thanks babe. yeah, i actually love many things about tokyo now. just having a bit of a whinge :o)
March 8th, 2007 at 8:14 am
i think it’s safe to start posting as me.
i was really wanting to go back home to singapore in the past few weeks, but now that i have only one week left in melbourne, i’m starting to enjoy it here again. murphy’s law?
i do think that i’m happier to live in singapore now. still love melbourne, but maybe not to live in right now. will come back again in the future.
make the most of your 3 months! take a gazillion pictures and chomp down on all that delicious fresh fish!
March 8th, 2007 at 9:00 am
yeah, home is a funny concept. you have to go away to see where it is :o) ditto on mruphy’s law. argh.
well, i do hope to stay in japan longer because i want to know more than just the sights and sounds. i’ve yet to know more locals…
March 8th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
I never thought I would say this.. but living in Singapore is pretty great. everything is SO easy…
Sydney would be the only other place I would like to be right now. And London, which is where I am at the moment, sucks as*. I’m totally reminded of why I was miserable for 2 years of my life…. cant’ wait to go back…
March 9th, 2007 at 6:17 am
the kangaroo feels the same about london…sucks ass, eh? :p~