Home improvement

Quite a few people have told me they think the kangaroo and I seem to look like a dreamy pair. Well, I’m flattered and think I’m lucky, for sure, but seriously, we have our spats, too. I try not to dwell on them nor do I blog much about what our quarrels are about.

Unfortunately, after our Disney date, we had a serious talk that turned into a night of unhappiness. We fought some more the next day and I hated the shoebox. I didn’t have anywhere to go except the closet of a bathroom we have. It was raining so I didn’t want to stroll around aimlessly until my head cleared.

I think what made things worse was that I didn’t have any sleep the night before and the kangaroo was in full swing with his South Beach diet — low blood sugar levels are never ideal for sparring with a woman on the war path.

We have kissed and made up of course but I always find the aftermath of a quarrel unsettling. You know things are fine and resolved somewhat but there’s a lingering aftertaste of uncertainty, doubt and emotional exhaustion.

After speaking to a girlfriend about it, I learned to laugh at myself and at the kangaroo. I should learn to take life less seriously.

Maybe not consciously planned, but we bought some things to make the shoebox more comfortable and it was also a positive way to spend some time together post-fight. Mr. D purchased a printer for me so I can work better, because when he’s not around, I can’t ask him to print stuff for me at his office. Pillows, cases for the pillows, plates, a non-stick pan, water and wine glasses were part of the shopping list. Our shoebox was rather spare on the utensils front.

After a big three-hour snooze, we went in search of a South Beach dinner. In Akasaka Tokyu Plaza, we found West Pack Café. It looked a little dreary and tacky on the outside as a Western bar restaurant but they served very good salad, hamburgers and grilled salmon. With some Pinot Noir coursing through our veins, our banter became light-hearted and we started laughing a little again.

Sometimes I trawl the Internet for expat women’s blogs so I can learn more on how other trailing partners deal with their own issues. There are a few who share on this aspect of their lives but I’ve yet to see anyone wash their dirty laundry about someone they’re still with.

I don’t think there’s a set formula to getting it right in the relationships department but will try to be more patient and understanding. I discovered having short breaks from each other is a good idea after a spat. There was one incident where I was pissed off with the kangaroo and we had separate plans for the night. I focused on the people I was meeting instead of stewing over what I was mad about. By the time I got home, my anger had evaporated and it felt like a silly thing to get upset over in the first place. Well, this is my contribution to all the troubled expat women out there.

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