Are foreign women safe in Japan?
I woke up very late today and feel a mite guilty. Before the Berroca kicks in, I’ll like to write about something that’s been bothering me on and off.
Recently a British woman got murdered and was found buried in sand in her bathtub. It’s a horrible incident in safe Japan. In the media, there has been a lot of debate about whether Japan is really that safe, especially for foreign women.
As a foreign woman myself, I don’t stand out like the Caucasians but I get often mistaken for a Chinese national and I’m appalled at the way they are treated in this country. But then again, they are not seen with very welcoming eyes in Singapore either, what with being the recent wave of student-mistresses-study-mama-masseuses.
There have been a couple of times when I’ve been pulled over by a police officer to check my identity. I think it’s something no foreigner will ever get used to comfortably. Usually they spew rapid Japanese to test your language ability but inevitably they get more impatient when I cannot reply in fluent nihongo. In a somewhat brutish manner, they would also ask if I am “Chugokujin” and in Japan this only means “are you from China?” Most Japanese I’ve met get confused with meeting Chinese who are not from China, Taiwan or Hong Kong. Some even think there is a Singaporean language (and they don’t mean Singlish).
But once I say I’m Singaporean and reply in English, which is always far more fluent than theirs, they back off and look apologetic. They change their tone of voice to a meeker one. With a switch in language prowess, I look them in the eye and I sound very confident. Sometimes I just want to speak English here because I don’t sound or look stupid. Usually I get sent on my way with apologies. I hate these incidents.
And not just with policemen, but with some service staff, too. Of course I’ve met a great number of polite and helpful sales people but there are some who don’t seem very forthcoming and will even ask me if I’m from China, but once I say I’m from Singapore, I get a smile and a nod of respect. Although at the end of the day, I’m not quite receiving the brunt of this discrimination, I still feel odd coming away from these incidents.
A long winding circle back to being a foreign woman in Tokyo — are we safe? Well one of the issues of standing out is not just looks, where you are from, but also behaviour. If foreign women speak in a friendly manner to men they don’t know, these Japanese men may misconstrue their motives to be of the, ah, coitus variety.
I’ve also encountered this type of thing. There were a few older Japanese gentlemen (over 40, maybe nearing 50) I met in one of my expat group outings who were persistent in chatting with me especially after I welcomed an exchange of friendly banter. I didn’t mind talking but they would hog my attention throughout the entire dinner, ask overly personal questions, make strange breathy statements about my looks and my name repeatedly while shooting meaningful glances at me.
The kangaroo once told me they were probably keen to speak English but I don’t think so. The way they doggedly occupied my time was just weird and it prevented anyone from entering the conversation. One man told me straight off he was a divorcee and had a Swiss girlfriend whom he only visits once a year. Don’t get me wrong I’ve met other men (okay they were mostly non-Japanese) who had no sleazy intentions whatsoever and I can tell you they don’t behave like this. Usually by the end of the night I’m exhausted and want to get away from their stares.
People don’t really talk about what non-Caucasian foreign women go through. I don’t know what it means for an Asian woman to behave in a Western way. Probably the same result or worse? They may not even expect an Asian woman to be Western? ‘Tis the conundrum of coming from Singapore where everyone is a mishmash of things.
Click here for the article on BBC
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