12 Things I love and hate about going home
I always feel a mixture of excitement and dread before I fly back to the Lion City. Why? A fellow expat friend described the expat experience as a transforming one: you’re a weird hybrid creature and you don’t fit in anymore.
Singapore is no longer my stomping ground, but Tokyo, while being my new home, can be familiar but strange all at once even after three years. I have new habits, new friends, a new outlook, new job, but some of the old still hangs around. I can’t put my finger on it but I don’t want to say stuff like Singlish and laksa is still my number one love.
What I love…
1. Meeting friends and loved ones. Since I don’t live with the fam anymore, I just see the good stuff and I feel my relationship with them has improved. My mum was the sweetest — she made veganized laksa, mee siam, and rojak so that I could tuck into local fare without a worry (for those who are not familiar with Singaporean nosh, most food have meat or seafood). Catching up with my old besties was just phenomenal, too. I miss them….
Photo credit: here
2. Hot-pink tropical sunsets, summery weather, and lush greenery. I loved running along the beach in East Coast Park every other day. Singapore really is a pretty lil’ city.
3. Casual friendliness. I’ve always felt Tokyo can be formal in so many ways, even amongst friends. The Japanese are so considerate and sensitive in social situations but I find it a bit stifling (except for this one). “Speak your mind! Show your real emotions!” I feel like shouting sometimes. In Singapore, people may be rude on occasion but they are open and friendly, too. You can spot folks in shorts and slippers everywhere and the air feels laid back.
4. Local fruit — oh.my.god. Stupendously cheap and in glorious abundance. I feasted on purple dragonfruit, lychees, rambutans, young coconuts, guava, papayas, Asian pears, watermelons… I could’ve swum in a tub full of watermelon juice!
5. Bargain shopping. There was always a sale going on and it was even better over the Causeway.
6. Easy to navigate. I just needed to hop into a taxi and I was anywhere in less than half an hour. Bliss.
What I hate…
1. Feeling like a tourist. I’m no foodie maven these days but I like knowing a number of restaurants I can go to and be assured of a good time. It’s amazing how restaurants and bars disappear and spring up in Singapore.
2. The suffocating humidity. I felt very heavy in the first few days but my body adjusted and I relished wearing sleeveless tops daily.
3. The realization that I have lost many friends after being away for just a few years. The kangaroo and I found ourselves without anyone to go out with on a Friday night. The people we knew were busy or out of the country. It felt a bit sad, but you know, I’m no social butterfly in Tokyo either.
4. Not being able to dig deeper. It’s hard to fully catch up with friends as a two-week visit only allows for at most a few meet-ups. It seems more convenient to gather everyone in a group but I felt like I couldn’t go beyond the surface with most of whom I’d met.
5. Greasy food. Japan’s cuisine is generally light on oil (except sinful dishes like katsu) so I found the heaps of oil in Singapore hawker food to be overwhelming.
6. Saying goodbye. I loved hanging out with my family after being away from them for a year. It felt quite tragic when I left behind their big smiles and frantic waves as I passed through immigration at Changi Airport.
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June 28th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
When I go home I feel like such an outsider. Even with my friends and family. They will be having a conversation and I won’t have a clue what they’re talking about.
June 28th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Yeah the feeling of displacement is quite unpleasant and disorienting…